Why Are Singles Breaking Up With Dating Apps?
The popularity of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge revolutionized how singles connected in the digital age. Yet, as these platforms saw a drop in revenue—Match Group’s earnings fell from $3.75 billion in 2015 to $2.08 billion in 2024—it’s clear that the swiping era is losing its luster. Many users cite issues like unsatisfactory algorithms, safety concerns, and fatigue from the gamified nature of these apps. But leaving behind these platforms has unearthed a new dating challenge: the lost art of approaching potential partners in real life (IRL).
Facing the Fear of IRL Interaction
For many singles, sparking a meaningful connection face-to-face feels daunting. Selani Adikari, founder of the Sydney-based dating service Pitch Perfect Match, believes digital dating culture is to blame. “People are hesitant to just walk up and start conversations,” she explains. With so much time spent hiding behind screens, the art of taking a social risk has eroded—leaving many navigating unfamiliar territory when stepping away from apps.
Clinical professionals and dating experts highlight a larger issue: social media and online dating have contributed to an increased fear of rejection. “We’re more image-conscious than ever,” notes Susie Kim, a relationship and intimacy coach. “That paired with the ease of swiping has made people overly cautious—both about how they are perceived and whether they’ll be rejected.” The rise of social media narratives showcasing rejections has compounded this anxiety, making singles wary of IRL approaches.
The Return of Face-to-Face Courtship
Historically, dating was a community-focused activity—when partnerships were initiated, everyone often knew about it. Dr. Esmé Louise James, a sex historian, explains: “Courtship used to involve family, friends, and shared spaces, where relationships grew openly. Internet culture reinvented courting as solitary and private instead.” However, she hopes newly reemerged spaces like singles events and social activities revive traditional IRL connection but with modern updates, including better hygiene and an evolved understanding of consent and safety.
Today’s singles find solace in curated matchmaking services, designed to bring back community-centered interaction. From quirky pitching services like Pitch Perfect Match to smaller-scale singles events, these experiences remind people of the importance of shared, comfortable environments for fostering connection.
For example, Adikari’s initiative invites participants to have friends pitch them to a group, creating a social dynamic that reduces pressure and lets singles relax. Similarly, Lisa of Connect Social creates events that avoid unrealistic expectations of dating app profiles, focusing instead on organic meetings.
How to Approach IRL: Expert Tips
Seasoned dating coaches stress the importance of authenticity, empathy, and setting clear boundaries. Damien Diecke of the School of Attraction encourages a gentle, respectful approach when initiating conversations in person. Rather than relying on cheesy openers, he suggests going in alone, respecting someone’s personal space, and gracefully walking away if the other party isn’t interested. Diecke emphasizes: “Experiences in real life often override fears from the exaggerated horror stories we see online.” Similarly, Susie Kim notes, “Those worried about appearing creepy are often the ones with genuine, respectful intentions.”
So where should one start? Simplicity is key. “Just start a conversation,” says Kim. “There’s no pressure—focus on getting to know someone and seeing where it goes.”
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The Future of Modern Dating
Adapting to a post-dating app world is no easy task, but it offers exciting opportunities. IRL dating emphasizes consent, understanding, and emotional connection—traits that have always been essential in meaningful relationships. Ultimately, as we adjust to an evolving dating culture, the focus remains on empathy, intentionality, and respecting boundaries. Whether you’re pitching a friend at Pitch Perfect Match or simply engaging in an open conversation at a party, prioritizing authenticity is timeless advice for connection.
